Tweak

My daughter calls her brother a tweak.

It’s okay, I tell him, a tweak means

she thinks you’re really cool. Days later

she calls him a tweak for the umpteenth time.

Don’t call your brother a tweak I say. But mom,

he reminds, she’s saying she loves me.

In the driver’s seat I quiet, let the road

do the driving, lead me wherever

I’m supposed to go. I listen to their banter

in the backseat and feel my brain sharply

twisted and pulled in two directions.

I think I am being tweaked.

What Makes Mike Happy Happy Happy

1. Sons of Anarchy
2. Pretending to remove his thumb and watching Amy have a meltdown until he reattaches it
3. Making turds flow downhill. . . .he's a plumber ok
4. His wife's cooking. . . .yep that would be me!
5. You Tube watching people be stupid
6. The smell of black powder
7. Waking up on the hillside with a fresh layer of snow
8. The sound of a screaming bull elk in the aspens
9. Watching Hunter find his first shed
10. Teaching Hunter to shoot a 410 when he was 2

DIY no sew Fairy Costume

This year I was playing lazy and hoping I wouldn't have to make any Halloween costumes, especially since my sewing machine is broken and I haven't got around to taking it to a repair shop, and I lack the funds to buy the one I really want. I got lucky with Hunters costume finding a $12 Captain America at Costco over a month ago, and you know how much I love to impulse buy. But for Amy I could not find a costume that either of us liked, or that was the right size for a 3 year old. Why is everything either baby sized or little girl sized at Costco? I figured the easiest way to go for her was a no sew tutu. I found a $5 pair of wings at Wal-Mart in her favorite colors pink and purple, bought matching tulle and set to work.

Since I couldn't sew an elastic for the waistband, I used one of my elastic headbands to tie the tulle around, so glad it was the right size to fit Amy.

I used a plastic bin lid to wrap the tulle around so I only had to make one cut per spool, and make ever piece even and the same length.

Then I began attaching the tulle on the band by folding the tulle in half lengthwise, sliding the loop under the band the pulling the ends through, beginning with the color I wanted on the outside of her dress first.

After all the tulle was attached I turned it inside out so the purple would be on top and the knots were on the inside.

Attach some ribbon for straps, and tie another ribbon around her chest, put some sparkly shoes on her and voila she was done. Sorry though, you'll just have to wait until Halloween to see Captain America and the purple Fairy in costume.

Costco thrives on impulse purchases.

Has anyone ever had a conversation like this about going to Costco?

Mike: "The kids are really hacking it up at night. Let's go to Costco tomorrow and get a humidifier."

Me: "My monthly Costco trip isn't in my budget until November. If I go I'll buy all kinds of things I think we need. Why don't you go without me so I won't be tempted to buy anything else." He smiles at me his eye twinkling. I start to giggle.

Me: "Did I just say that? I forgot you're just as bad as I am! That's like sending an alcoholic to the state liquor store!"

Mike: "I could still go if you want me to, but it would be more fun if we went together."

Me: "Yes, we could help each other be strong! Will you reign me in? Shut me down if I try to buy anything else?"

Mike: "Course I will, and then let's get churros after!"

Me: "There you go, already tempting me to buy another thing!"

Mike: "You can't go to Costco without getting a churro! They're churrolicious."

Me: "You see, we're a lost cause!"

Mike: "Maybe you should go without me."

Me: "You're right, I think I have more self-control than you do."

Mike: "Damn straight!"


All joking aside I found another blog with some really great advice for shopping smart at Costco on The Money Beagle.

What I wish I knew when I was in college

I received an envelope in the mail today from the University of Utah School of Music. It was a request to donate to their scholarship fund because as the letter states "The demands of the program make it difficult for performance students to work and attend school." Were they aware they were sending this letter to someone who had dropped out of the music program because she couldn't handle the amount of practice and studying required and work a full time job? Probably not. I'm not blaming the school, but I do blame myself for what I wish I had known back then.

I was too proud to take out a loan to pay for school. I had been raised with staunch expectations to pay my own way through college without ever falling into debt. I was too proud to let my husband support me. Getting through school and relying solely on yourself for everything is an admirable desire, but after ten more years of life I've come to realize it's okay to let people help you and it's okay to have student loans if you want to graduate. So I will try not to be resentful, and maybe I will even donate so that other young students will have a better opportunity than I did.

In the meantime, I keep telling myself my time will come. I wish I knew when, I'm all about deadlines and planning, making schedules and lists. It's frustrating not being able to put "go back to school" on my calendar and count the days until that day is here. But like every other woman out there, my mother instinct is too strong or I'm too practical, so I will continue to worry over the success of my children before I achieve my own. That said, I will go back, I've promised myself, I don't take my own promises lightly and I always keep my word.

First Parent-Teacher Conference

Update on Hunter:

We're making progress! Especially since the last time I posted about Hunter. He's not going to be tested for any learning disabilities yet. He is getting a little bit of extra help from an aide in class. Mike and I are still working with him every day, and Mike's aunt has been coming once a week.

The Results: he can write his name! Yes! I will admit I shed a tear or two the first time he did it right. What can I say? I'm a proud mama. He's learned more letters, still coming slowly but we're almost there! Counting is coming too, he's learned all the numbers and I'm estimating one more week and he'll be able to count to 20.

My first parent teacher conference was last night, and since we already have a handle on where Hunter is academically I was worried about how he was doing socially, especially if he's anything like I was. I actually found my kindergarten report card a few days ago and even though I had no trouble academically, I scored as low as possible on things like, displays self-control, plays well with others, listens without interrupting, follows directions well, and you get the idea. Who knew I had such bad social skills? Or maybe I still do and you all aren't telling me . . . . . . .? I'm happy to report Hunter is nothing like I was. His teacher said he's very aware of his classmates feelings and is always willing to share, he intentionally tries to make all his classmates around him happy. He's friendly and plays great. Yes! Another proud mama moment.

Have you ever had to lead music?

A few months ago I was called to lead the music in Relief Society (a meeting for women held during LDS church). I can see why I was called, I mean I can read music, but that's about the extent of my choir capabilities. The first time I had to lead I was shaking, yes I have developed some stage fright since I've spent the last 29 years of my life trying not to be noticed, ahem, until this year and beginning to blog.

I think anxious and apprehensive are the best words to describe it. Before the song I frantically turned to the back of the hymn book to find the diagrams on how to wave my arm, but it didn't seem to pay off that first day; neither I or the pianist were following each other and I had to stop several times to find the beat.

Feeling very abashed, especially as I noticed an older woman in the front row carefully watching me. Oh no  I thought she's so religious, she's going to think I'm sacrilegious that I don't take this seriously. Graciously after the meeting she said "you did great, you'll get the hang of it." Whew! I dodged that bullet! Seriously though, I was so grateful for her kind words, they gave me the strength to go up there again the next Sunday.

Every week I flip to the back of the book and make tiny motions with my hand to 'practice' before leading in front of all those women. I thought I was getting better, and I must be because I think I've become entirely too comfortable when I'm up there. I'm not proud to say, though not too proud to write about it......my most recent blunder. I stood with my hymn book ready, and began to daydream. I completely forgot to begin leading until the pianist stopped after the prelude and gave me the stare down. "whops! Sorry everybody! I was so not ready for that" and begin!

Yes I probably am loosing my mind, I didn't even realize what a studious daydreamer I am, and I can't even remember what I was thinking so hard about that distracted me in the first place. Maybe it's late onset ADD? but I guarantee from now on I'll be super focused. It's amazing how embarrassment can keep you from making the same mistake twice.

Anybody else have a story about leading music?

Running to the 80's

Running Update:

Distance: 3 miles
Previous best time: 35:30
Today's time: 34:47
Mini Goal: 3x11 minute miles
Final Goal: 3x10 minute miles

I love 80's music. Thanks to Amy for getting me hooked on 80's in eigth grade. I can't help it, whenever I hear some Police, Cure, Depeche Mode, all of it, I can't help but smile, it just makes me happy! Today's run made me very happy because Motivational Man made an 80's and 90's Music Video. Love it! Hoping he makes a purely 80's video soon!

Royals

I can't get Royals out of my head. I'd heard it before but it caught my attention on an episode of Revenge, then I heard it on the radio several days in a row. I love when lyrics sound like poetry, I think that's why I'm such a fan of Pearl Jam, every one of their songs reads like a poem. But I couldn't figure out Lordes' lyrics on my own so I went to songmeanings.com where I found more teenage interpretations than I could ever want. Once I got some perspective on the meaning, I'm now somewhat disgusted with the song, I love it but I hate it. Here's why.

It's ironic that someone singing about how she lives in a bad neighborhood, who doesn't have wealth, has to count her dollars, who claims not to be caught up in a love affair with celebrity, admits the only fantasy she really wants to have is to be queen B to rule or should we say be on top, be cool. Even more ironic is how wealthy she'll become from making this song, and I find it hard to believe with all that money she'll earn she's not going to move into a big house, ride on private planes, wear diamonds and ball gowns.

It's a dirty trick that she's putting down other artists in order to help herself rise to fame, but that is the one fantasy she asks you to let her live, to be queen B, so at least she's not shady one bit about her intentions, and yet we're all falling for it.

The Joys of Acne

I remember my first breakout, I was 14 and in the 9th grade. I asked my parents to buy me some face wash and that was that, the acne cleared up and I didn't think much about it till college. At that point I started to break out more and more and I remember thinking I thought this was supposed to go away with age? Nope sorry, my face laughs at me and squeezes out another inflamed pimple. There was Neutrogena, ProActiv and glowing pregnancy skin without a trace of blemish to keep my psyche free of zit worry during those days, but now that my baby bearing days are over and I'll be 30 next year, I should be over this right? In fact I'm so over this I finally went to see a dermatologist.

He tells me it appears to be hormone driven and he's going to prescribe a hormone suppressant that should work immediately. Which hormone does it suppress you ask? Why testosterone of course, because didn't you know excess testosterone in women creates hormonal acne? Who knew. Oh, and it's also the same drug given to men wanting to become more feminine prior to a sex change. Um, well, all I can say is I'm desperate and glad I'm not a man. I also get to apply a retinoid cream that makes your pores more slippery. It required special permission from my insurance to cover because using it for acne is an "off label" application. What does that mean, you ask? It mean retinoid creams are mainly used for firming up your skin like collagen or botox, only it's topical, yay for me! Oh and to speed up the process, he says, I'm going to have you try Aczone topically during the day. It's pretty amazing stuff he tells me, they used to prescribe it internally for lepers because it kills bacteria. Wow, so now I'm a testosterone charged woman with leprosy who needs botox.

Wish me luck! Here's my before pic, I'll post an after pic next month.

My five year old asks me if he can do aerobics. . ..

should I be worried or proud? All I have to do to get Hunter to eat a meat, fruit, or veggie is tell him it will make him big, strong, and healthy. When I run on my treadmill he gets his gloves on an punches our heavy punching bag right alongside me. He's such a skinny guy and most kids in his class are taller than him. I'm pretty sure his main concern is making sure he grows as big and tall as the other kids. Today he surprised me though. I've only done an exercise video a handful of times with the kids around, but for some reason only known to Hunter he asked me if I would turn on a workout video for him. It's a couple hours before bedtime so I thought Sure! get all your energy out! Little sister Amy followed along too for the first five minutes, but Hunter is now 30 minutes in and still going strong, oh I do wish I had his energy.

My Cancer Story

Everybody has a cancer story. I think it's safe to say there isn't one person in American that hasn't had cancer or known somebody with it. This is mine.

I was surprised at how easily I found the Breast Cancer Center at the hospital. As I walked toward the automatic sliding doors I thought how incredible it is that there’s an entire wing of the hospital just for breasts. Why isn't there a kidney center, heart center, lung center? Were breasts more diseased than any other body part? Or is it because society is vain? Maybe both I decided.

I was glad to be there, for two weeks the thought of a lump in my breast hung over my head. My intuition told me it was nothing but I wanted to be sure so I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.

Boys Hats and Fathers

The last couple months Hunter has taken to wearing his Dad's hats. Sure they dwarf his head, and he looks like a little thug, but I think in the interest of being like Mike, Hunter always has a hat on if he can help it. Last Friday Hunter lost his favorite hat.. It's also one of Mike's favorites. When I got home on Friday Hunter was frantic, "you gotta help me find my hat" he said.

"It'll turn up somewhere, you're sure it's in the house, you didn't leave it in the car or at someone else's house?"

My Pet Peeve

I love my job I really do. Most of the time it's non-stressful. I get to work with people who are always fun and entertaining. I love the friendly banter that goes on in the group IM's. I salivate for the next witty words that make me smile and laugh out loud. I get to work 50% at home too, which is such a bonus I don't have to miss my kids on those days. I love the projects I get to help with, especially when I get to be creative or write things. But when it comes to having to work away from home, my biggest pet peeve is when the toilet paper at work has another roll pushing down on top of it, so the paper breaks off one square at a time. I'm sorry but one square is never enough, I need a nice long piece I can create multiple layers with so I don't sully my hands. I know I'll wash them immediately, but still, that's just gross. I've tried the hold the extra roll up while I attempt to pull, but once I got my finger stuck in there so that's risky business. Sometimes if you pull real gently you can get three squares out before it breaks, but then I have to depend on luck. It's so trivial I know, but every time that teepee rips before I'm ready I'm thinking oooh, I really hate that.

Anybody else with a potty pet peeve?

Hunting Season Begins

Do you need to be a hunter to be the flesh and blood son of Mike Horman? Probably not, but Mike is the flesh of Steve who is the prodigy of his father Jerry who taught him to hunt. Mike teaches our son Hunter you have to roam the hillside; sitting hidden in the bushes is for inexperienced hunters. How many miles can you go? A year after I birthed Hunter I went with Mike to get our meat off the hillside. The snow was up to my

Anya with a y

Since beginning to blog, I've added a new item to my bucket list. Number #57 Legally change name from Anja Marie Horman to Anya Horman. Maybe you think it's silly, why waste $400 on a name that is going to sound exactly the same when pronounced? The same reason A-n-n is not as distinguished as Anne with an e, says Anne Shirley of Green Gables. As red hair was her lifelong sorrow, a J was mine. Each time I meet

Defiance

When I was a little girl I had defiance in me. The world was not fair, and I was going to fight everybody in it until I felt all the wrongs were righted. I was a back talker and a know it all. Many times this behavior made my circumstances worse, thereby increasing my perceived unfairness. One example was being at the babysitters house. She had a son the same age as me. We were fighting about something and he used a bad

Egregious

adjective

1. 1.

   outstandingly bad; shocking.

   "egregious abuses of copyright"
   
   

   synonyms:

   shocking, appalling, terrible, awful, horrendous, frightful, atrocious, abominable, abhorrent, outrageous; monstrous, heinous, dire, unspeakable, shameful, unforgivable, intolerable, dreadful; formal grievous "an egregious error of judgement"

   
   

   I learned a new word today, so happy my vocabulary was expanded. However, when you go to a meeting and this word is used multiple times. . .it's not a happy place to be. I have to say though, nice choice of words, better than having your team called plain old bad.

Things have come to a pretty pass

Earlier today I began working on today's post knowing that I wouldn't publish it. My reason, it was a rant about waking up and finding dishes not done, (we don't have a dishwasher and I've learned not to fall behind on them or we will have nothing to eat on) toys not put away, etc. I figured that writing my rant would be

The Pendaflex Road

Sometimes I love to file paperwork, taking that stack on my desk by the mailbox and reducing it to perfect orderliness in my file cabinet. Then there's the part I dread, going through each file, eliminating useless old papers to the trash bin, shredding, creating new folders, alphabetizing them among the old, etc. . . can you guess what I did tonight? Yup, instead of reading intelligent

General Conference

When I was a kid we didn't have General Conference (a semi-annual broadcast from the leaders of the LDS church) on the TV. Maybe if we had lived in Utah we would have, but we lived in California, where you had to have cable to watch Conference on TV. My Mom and I would turn on

Duck Dynasty

I'm so excited to go home and watch Duck Dynasty with Mike. It's our weekly ritual, the one show we both love. So while I'm thinking about here it, here are my 10 most favorite things

My two ballerinas

Don't take this the wrong way. Hunter is masculine in every way possible, always wears his Dad's hats, loves to play trucks and superheroes, loves to go hunting and hiking. The way I see this, he loves playing with his little sister and he's not afraid to have fun! The best part about catching things on camera, is getting to show his future wife someday and revel in his embarrassment. I'm so terrible, I can't wait!

Hunter

Hunter is my wild child. He is impatient, loud and rambunctious. He is also very friendly, every time I drop him off at school he runs to catch up with any kid who appears his size and quickly introduces himself. He has such a sweetness for others and is very sensitive to people's feelings. One day I was

The snow is coming

This is what moms do, we run through life at breakneck pace, looking towards the next big accomplishment, first steps, first words, first day of school, the next grade, next birthday. I will admit, I am guilty